Tag: craziness

Bible Babble (Genesis 6:1–22)

Before you get into this post, you should probably read the disclaimer from the previous post, Bible Babble (Genesis 1:1–31).

Genesis 6:1–22

Go ahead and read through that real quick, I’ll wait…

This is one of my favorite chapters in Genesis, namely due to all the craziness contained in the short 22 verses.  As I’ve previously mentioned in Man in the Middle and Genie in a Boardgame, I have a fascination with the concept of alien life, other planes of existence, angels/demons, etc.  This is one of the passages in the Bible that I am fascinated by, as it seems to allude to the concept of beings from another place, coming to earth, having visitations with people, and the like.  One of my theories is that the modern incarnation of aliens, is merely a science fiction remake for the ancient stories of angels/demons.  Just another of those items on my list of stuff to ask God about later.  And that’s just the first few verses.  Then we get into the whole Noah’s Ark story.  So let’s take the science fiction angle in the retelling of this chapters contents, like so many other films and TV shows have done before.

Imagine the classic Don LaFontaine voice-over trailer.  “In a world where time had just begun.  In a time when the survival of the entire human race depends on one man.  A tale 65 million years in the making.  A simple man, in a complicated world, but now, more than ever, for one heart-stopping moment, quite possibly, a hero.  Nothing could ever prepare you for what awaits you on, The Ark.  A tale of action and adventure, but for the few with the real courage to hop aboard, it’ll be the white knuckle trill ride of a lifetime.  For some, it’s a ride of unending suspense and terror, but for others, a heart warming affirmation of the can-do Spirit inside us all.  From the people who brought you Creation comes the dramatic blockbuster of the century.  The Ark.  Coming to a theater near you.”

If that’s not your thing, perhaps a Star Wars style intro crawl, “A long time ago in a galaxy not so far, far away.…”  People multiplying like rabbits, eventually some hot chicks start to accumulate, aliens take notice, aliens take action, human-alien hybrids created, God not pleased, God decides to shake the Etch‑a Sketch upside down, God finds one family gene-pool not infected with this hybrid DNA, God gives plans for space ship to Noah, along with directive to take DNA samples of male and female of every species for cloning later, Noah does what he’s told.  That’s the chapter in a nutshell, if it were to happen today, or at least be retold today.  You get my drift.  Now let’s walk through it.

If you’ll remember, God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden, locked the door behind them, and gave them the ‘be fruitful and multiply’ speech.  Well, multiply they did.  Chapter 5 was a brief overview of this multiplying.  So we get to Noah, and his sons, and then we get this crazy science fiction type intro to the classic Noah’s Ark tale.  So back to the multiplying.  There is a lot of multiplying going on, and the land is starting to fill up with men and women.  Not just ordinary women, but evidently some crazy hot super foxy women.  These women are so amazingly beautiful that the Sons of God, a rebel angel/alien faction, made a stop on earth to get in on some of this multiplying action.  Later we’ll read about how about a third of all the angels in Heaven side with the Chief Musician in an attempt to overthrow the throne of God.  Needless to say this doesn’t go well, and they all get booted into Hell, which was created just for the occasion.  In SciFi this would be a galactic battle for dominance, with a Punk Rock rebel leader of a faction of a superior alien race.  The revolution ends badly for the rebels, ending with their being relegated to a horrible alternate reality world where all their dreams fail continuously.  Fade back to the main story.  These alien rebels with the help of human women, create this alien-human hybrid race, the Nephilim.  These are the demigods of Greek/Roman mythology, superhero type giants with six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot.  These hybrids are an abomination to God, and he’s none too pleased with the humans or aliens at this point.  There was a law against this kind of crossbreeding in the galactic law books, and both breeds conspired together to break it.  This kind of blatant rebellion cannot be allowed.  God decides that creating man was a bad idea and decides to wipe them from existence.

God is just moments away from hitting the self destruct button when the scanners pick up Noah and his family.  He belays the order to wipe out the planet.  Among the virtually evil saturated beings on the now extremely violent planet Earth, one stands out against the rest.  He notices that Noah’s family has refused to take part in these hybrid experiments, thus leaving their DNA free of this hybrid genetic flaw.  God sees that he can save these few as a genetic template for a future civilization.  He sends Noah and his sons, Ham, Shem, and Japheth, the detailed scematics to a large vessel that will house their family and the samples of all the other creatures on this planet that require the land to live.  Noah and his family gathered the samples as requested along with the food needed to sustain them for the next several months.  God told them that this second chance didn’t come without a price, a term limit on life, 120 years, tops.  They agreed and got to work.

That’s where chapter 6 leaves us.  Next comes, naturally, chapter 7.

As always, feel free to comment or ask questions about any of the ideas shared in this post.